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Study Resources Repairing the Soul
Psychological Manipulation, cult
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Cultic Studies Study Resources
Recovery
Repairing the Soul After a Cult
Experience
Janja Lalich, M.A.
1/2
I was recruited into a cult in 1975
when I was 30 years old. The
previous year I returned to the
United States after having spent
almost four years in exile abroad,
where I lived the most serene
life on an island in the
Mediterranean off the coast of Spain. If
someone had told me that within a
year I would be deeply involved
and committed to a cult, I would have
laughed derisively. Not me! I
was too independent, too headstrong,
a lover of fun and freedom.
I was told that we would be unlike
all other groups on the Left
because we were led by women and
because our leader was brilliant
and from the working class. I was
told that we would not follow the
political line of any other country,
but that we would create our
own brand of Marxism, our own
proletarian feminist revolution; we
would not be rigid, dogmatic, sexist,
racist. We were new and
different - an elite force. We were
going to make the world a better
place for all people.
The reality, of course, was that our
practical work had little if
anything to do with working-class
ideals or goals. Our leader was an
incorrigible, uncontrollable
megalomaniac; she was alcoholic,
arbitrary, and almost always angry.
Our organization, with the word
democratic prominent in its name, was
ultra-authoritarian,
completely top down, with no real
input or criticism sought or
listened to. Our lives were made up
of 18-hour days of busywork and
denunciation sessions. Our world was
harsh, barren, and unrewarding.
We were committed and idealistic
dreamers who were tricked into
believing that such demanding
conditions were necessary to transform
ourselves into cadre fighters. We
were instructed that we were the
“uninstructed” and that we must take
all guidance from our leader
who knew all. We were never to
question any orders or in any way
contradict or confront our leader. We
were taught to dread and fear
the outside world which, we were
told, would shun and punish us. In
fact, the shunning and punishment was
rampant within; but, blinded
by our own belief, commitment, and
fatigue, in conjunction with the
group’s behavior-control techniques,
I and the others succumbed to
the pressures and quickly learned to
rationalize away any doubts or
apprehensions.
I remained in that group for more
than 10 years.
When I got out of the cult in early
1986, I had to begin life anew.
I was a decade behind in everything.
Both my parents had died, and I
had lost touch with former friends. I
had to play catch up, so to
speak, culturally, socially,
economically, emotionally, and
intellectually. But most important of
all, I had to repair my soul.
Who am I? How could I have committed
the many unkind acts while in
the group? Where do I belong now?
What do I believe in now? Will I
ever restore my faith in myself and
in others? These are the kinds
of questions and dilemmas that
troubled me. Over time, and most
recently through my contact and work
with former members of many
types of cults, I’ve come to see that
the single most uniform aspect
of all cult experiences is that it
touches, and usually damages, the
soul, the psyche.
I define a cult as a particular kind
of relationship; it can be a
group situation or between two
people. Within that relationship
there is an enormous power imbalance,
but more than that, there is a
hidden agenda. There is deception,
manipulation, exploitation, and
almost certainly abuse, carried out
and/or reinforced by the use of
social and psychological influence
techniques meant to control
behavior and shape attitudes and
thinking patterns. A cult is led by
a person (or sometimes two or three)
who demands all veneration, who
makes all decisions, and who
ultimately controls most aspects of the
personal lives of those who are
cleverly persuaded that they must
follow, obey, and stay in the good
graces (i.e., the grips) of the
leader.
Cult leaders and cult recruiters
capture the hearts, minds, and
souls of the best and brightest in
our society. Cults are looking
for active, productive, intelligent,
energetic individuals who will
perform for the cult by fund-raising,
by recruiting more followers,
by operating cult businesses and
leading cult seminars. In the 1960s
and 1970s it was perhaps more typical
for cults to recruit primarily
young people; this is no longer so.
Today, cults recruit the young
and old alike and everyone in
between. With anywhere from three to
five thousand cults active in the
United States today, it is quite
likely that a cult recruiter has been
knocking on your door or that
you have unwittingly answered a
cult’s advertisement for a course, a
workshop, a lecture, a book or tape,
or some other product.
Today’s cults are so sophisticated in
their recruitment and
indoctrination techniques that their
methods go far beyond what
anybody imagined in the 1950s when
certain scholars and researchers
were studying and writing about
thought-reform programs and
systematic behavior-control
processes. Cults today have perfected
their approaches and refined their
manipulations. They had to -
after all, recruiting and retaining
bright people isn’t easy. And
this is again where the soul comes in.
Cults appeal to that part of
ourselves that wants something better;
a better world for others or a better
self. These are the genuine,
heartfelt desires of decent, honest
human beings. Cult recruiters
are trained in how to play on those
desires, how to make it look as
though what the cult has to offer is
exactly what you’re interested
in. Cults can be formed around almost
any topic, but there are nine
broad categories: religious,
Eastern-based, New Age, business,
political, psychotherapy/ human
potential, occult, one-on-one, and
miscellaneous (such as lifestyle or
personality cults).
All cults, no matter their stripe,
are a variation on a theme, for
their common denominator is the use
of coercive persuasion and
behavior control without the
knowledge of the person who is being
manipulated. They manage this by
targeting (and eventually
attacking, dissembling, and
reformulating according to the cult’s
desired image) a person’s innermost
self. They take away you and
give you back a cult personality, a
pseudo personality. They punish
you when the old you turns up, and
they reward the new you. Before
you know it, you don’t know who you
are or how you got there; you
only know (or you are trained to
believe) that you have to stay
there. In a cult there is only one
way - cults are totalitarian, a
yellow brick road to serve the
leader’s whims and desires, be they
power, sex, or money.
When I was in my cult, I so
desperately wanted to believe that I had
finally found the answer. Life in our
society today can be
difficult, confusing, daunting,
disheartening, alarming, and
frightening. Someone with a glib
tongue and good line can sometimes
appear to offer you a solution. In my
case, I was drawn in by the
proposed political solution - to
bring about social change. For
someone else, the focus may be on
health, diet, psychological
awareness, the environment, the
stars, a spirit being, or even
becoming a more successful business
person. The crux is that cult
leaders are adept at convincing us
that what they have to offer is
special, real, unique, and forever -
and that we wouldn’t be able to
survive apart from the cult. A
person’s sense of belief is so dear,
so deep, and so powerful; ultimately
it is that belief that helps
bind the person to the cult. It is
the glue used by the cult to make
the mind manipulations stick. It is
our very core, our very belief
in our self and our commitment, it is
our very faith in humankind
and the world that is exploited and
abused and turned against us by
the cults.
It Hurts
Jan Groenveld
IT HURTS to discover you were
deceived - that what you thought was
the “one true religion,” the “path to
total fredom,” or “truth” was
in reality a cult.
IT HURTS when you learn that people
you trusted implicitly - whom
you were taught not to question -
were “pulling the wool over your
eyes” albeit unwittingly.
IT HURTS when you learn that those
you were taught were your
“enemies” were telling the truth
after all — but you had been told
they were liars, deceivers,
repressive, satanic etc and not to
listen to them.
IT HURTS when you know your faith in
God hasn’t changed - only your
trust in an organization - yet you
are accused of apostasy, being a
trouble maker, a “Judas”. It hurts
even more when it is your family
and friends making these accusations.
IT HURTS to realize their love and
acceptance was conditional on you
remaining a member of good standing.
This cuts so deeply you try and
suppress it. All you want to do is
forget - but how can you forget
your family and friends?
IT HURTS to see the looks of hatred
coming from the faces of those
you love - to hear the deafening
silence when you try and talk to
them. It cuts deeply when you try and
give your child a hug and they
stand like a statue, pretending you
aren’t there. It stabs like a
knife when you know your spouse looks
upon you as demonised and
teaches your children to hate you.
IT HURTS to know you must start all
over again. You feel you have
wasted so much time. You feel
betrayed, disillusioned, suspicious of
everyone including family, friends
and other former members.
IT HURTS when you find yourself
feeling guilty or ashamed of what
you were - even about leaving them.
You feel depressed, confused,
lonely. You find it difficult to make
decisions. You don’t know what
to do with yourself because you have
so much time on your hands now
- yet you still feel guilty for
spending time on recreation.
IT HURTS when you feel as though you
have lost touch with reality.
You feel as though you are “floating”
and wonder if you really are
better off and long for the security
you had in the organization and
yet you know you cannot go back.
IT HURTS when you feel you are all
alone - that no one seems to
understand what you are feeling. It
hurts when you realize your self
confidence and self worth are almost
non-existent.
IT HURTS when you have to front up to
friends and family to hear
their “I told you so” whether that
statement is verbal or not. It
makes you feel even more stupid than
you already do - your
confidence and self worth plummet
even further.
IT HURTS when you realize you gave up
everything for the cult - your
education, career, finances, time and
energy - and now have to seek
employment or restart your education.
How do you explain all those
missing years?
IT HURTS because you know that even
though you were deceived, you
are responsible for being taken in.
All that wasted time…….. at
least that is what it seems to you -
wasted time.
THE PAIN OF GRIEF
Leaving a cult is like experiencing
the death of a close relative or
a broken relationship. The feeling is
often described as like having
been betrayed by someone with whom
you were in love. You feel you
were simply used.
There is a grieving process to pass
through. Whereas most people
understand that a person must grieve
after a death etc, they find it
difficult to understand the same
applies in this situation. There is
no instant cure for the grief,
confusion and pain. Like all grieving
periods, time is the healer. Some
feel guilty, or wrong about this
grief. They shouldn’t — It IS normal.
It is NOT wrong to feel
confused, uncertain, disillusioned,
guilty, angry, untrusting -
these are all part of the process. In
time the negative feelings
will be replaced with clear thinking,
joy, peace, and trust.
YES - IT HURTS BUT THE HURTS WILL
HEAL WITH TIME, PATIENCE &
UNDERSTANDING
Coming Out of the Cults
Margaret Thaler Singer, Ph.D.
(Excerpted from “Coming Out of the
Cults,” Psychology
Today, January, 1979)
Most ex-cult members we have seen
struggle at one time or another
with some or all of the following
difficulties and problems. Not all
have all of these problems, nor do
most have them in severe and
extended form.
Depression. With their 24-hour regime
of ritual, work, worship, and
community, the cults provide members
with tasks and purpose. When
members leave, a sense of
meaninglessness often reappears. They must
also deal with family and personal
issues left unresolved at the
time of conversion.
But former members have a variety of
new losses to contend with.
They often speak of their regret for
the lost years and feel a loss
of innocence and self-esteem if they
come to believe that they were
used, or that they wrongly
surrendered their autonomy.
Loneliness. Leaving a cult also means
leaving many friends, a
brotherhood with common interests,
the intimacy of sharing a very
significant experience, and having to
look for new friends in an
uncomprehending or suspicious world.
Indecisiveness. Some groups prescribe
virtually every activity: what
and when to eat, wear, and do during
the day and night, showering,
defecating procedures, and sleep
positions. The loss of a way of
life in which everything is planned
often creates a “future void” in
which they must plan and execute all
their tomorrows on their own.
Certain individuals cannot put
together any organized plan for
taking care of themselves, whether
problems involve a job, school,
or social life. Some have to be urged
to buy alarm clocks and
notebooks in order to get up, get
going, and plan their days.
Slipping into Altered States.
Recruits are caught up in a round of
long, repetitive lectures couched in
hypnotic metaphors and exalted
ideas, hours of chanting while
half-awake, attention-focusing songs
and games, and meditating. Several
groups send their members to bed
wearing headsets that pipe sermons
into their ears as they sleep,
after hours of listening to tapes of
the leader’s exhortations while
awake. These are all practices that
tend to produce states of
altered consciousness, exaltation,
and suggestibility.
When they leave the cult, many
members find that a variety of
conditions—stress and conflict, a
depressive low, certain
significant words or ideas—can
trigger a return to the trancelike
state they knew in cult days. They
report that they fall into the
familiar, unshakable lethargy, and
seem to hear bits of exhortations
from cult speakers. These episodes of
“floating”—like the flashbacks
of drug users—are most frequent
immediately after leaving the group,
but can still occur weeks or months
later.
Blurring of Mental Acuity. Most cult
veterans report—and their
families confirm—subtle cognitive
inefficiencies and changes that
take some time to pass. Many former
cult members have to take simple
jobs until they regain former levels
of competence.
Fear of the Cult. Most of the groups
work hard to prevent
defections: some ex-members cite
warnings of heavenly damnation for
themselves, their ancestors, and
their children. Since many cult
veterans retain some residual belief
in the cult doctrines, this
alone can be a horrifying burden.
When members do leave, efforts to get
them back reportedly range
from moderate harassment to incidents
involving the use of force.
Many ex-members and their families
secure unlisted phone numbers;
some move away from known addresses;
some even take assumed names in
distant places.
Fear may be most acute for former
members who have left a spouse or
children behind in the cults that
recruited couples and families.
Any effort to make contact risks
breaking the link completely. Often
painful legal actions ensue over
child custody or conservatorship
between ex- and continuing adherents.
The Fishbowl Effect. A special
problem is the constant watchfulness
of family and friends, who are on the
alert for any signs that the
difficulties of real life will send
the person back. Mild
dissociation, deep preoccupations,
temporary altered states of
consciousness, and any positive talk
about cult days can cause alarm
in a former member’s family. Often
the ex-member senses it, but
neither side knows how to open up
discussion.
New acquaintances and old friends can
also trigger an ex-cult
member’s feelings that people are
staring, wondering why he/she
joined such a group.
The Agonies of Explaining. Why one
joined is difficult to tell
anyone who is unfamiliar with cults.
One has to describe the
subtleties and power of the
recruitment procedures and how one was
indoctrinated. Most difficult of all
is to try to explain why a
person is unable simply to walk away
from a cult, for that entails
being able to give a long and
sophisticated explanation of social
and psychological coercion,
influence, and control procedures.
Guilt. According to our informants,
significant parts of cult
activity are based on deception,
particularly fund-raising and
recruitment. The dishonesty is
rationalized as being for the greater
good of the cult or the person
recruited. As they take up their
personal consciences again, many
ex-members feel great remorse over
the lies they have told, and they
frequently worry over how to right
the wrongs they did.
Perplexities about Altruism. Many of
these people want to find ways
to put their altruism and energy back
to work without becoming a
pawn in another manipulative group.
They wonder how they can
properly select among the myriad
contending organizations—social,
religious, philanthropic,
service-oriented, psychological—and remain
their own boss.
Elite No More. “They get you to
believing that they alone know how
to save the world,” recalled one
member. “You think you are in the
vanguard of history . . . As the
chosen, you are above the law . . .
” Clearly one of the more poignant
comedowns of postgroup life is
the end of feeling a chosen person, a
member of an elite.
Cultic Studies Study Resources
Recovery
Coping With Trance States: The
Aftermath of Leaving
Patrick L. Ryan
Trance states, derealization,
dissociation, spaceyness…What are
they? What strategies can we use to
cope with them?
Trance states: By trance states, we
mean dissociation,
depersonalization and derealization.
In the group we called it spacing out
or higher/altered states of
consciousness.
All humans have some propensity to
have moments of dissociation.
However, certain practices
(meditation, chanting, learned processes
of speaking in tongues, prolonged
guided imagery, etc.) appear to
have ingrained in many former members
a reflexive response to
involuntarily enter altered states of
consciousness.
Even after leaving the group and
ceasing its consciousness-altering
practices, this habitual, learned
response tends to recur under
stress.
For some former members this can be
distressing and affect their
functioning. When this happens, it
tends to impair one’s
concentration, attention, memory and
coping skills.
Many former members coming from
prolonged consciousness-altering
groups find that the intensity,
frequency and duration of the
episodes decrease when they
deliberately and consistently use the
strategies outlined below.
It is important to note that when one
is tired, ill, or under stress
the feelings of spaceyness,
dissociation, depersonalization and
derealization may temporally return.
By developing the ability to
immediately label these states and
attempting the following strategies,
one can return to consistent
state of mental functioning.
DEFINITIONS
from Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-III):
Dissociative Disorders
The essential feature is a sudden,
temporary alteration in the
normally integrative functions of
consciousness, identity, or
motor behavior. If the alteration
occurs in consciousness,
important personal events cannot be
recalled.
If it occurs in identity, either the
individual’s customary
identity is temporarily forgotten and
a new identity is assumed,
or the customary feeling of one’s own
reality is lost and replaced
by a feeling of unreality. If the
alteration occurs in motor
behavior, there is also a concurrent
disturbance in consciousness
or identity.
Atypical Dissociative Disorder
(300.15)
Trance-like states, derealization
unaccompanied by
depersonalization, and those more
prolonged dissociated states may
occur in persons who have been
subjected to periods of prolonged
and intense coercive persuasion
(brainwashing, thought reform, and
indoctrination while captive of
terrorists or cultists).
Depersonalization Disorder (300.60)
The essential feature is the
occurrence of one or more episodes of
depersonalization that cause social
or occupational impairment.
The symptom of depersonalization
involves an alteration in the
perception or experience of the self
so that the usual sense of
one’s own reality is temporarily lost
or changed. This is
manifested by a sensation of
self-estrangement or unreality, which
may include the feeling that one’s
extremities have changed in
size, or the experience of seeming to
perceive oneself from a
distance. In addition, the individual
may feel “mechanical” or as
though in a dream. Various types of
sensory anesthesia and feeling
of not being in complete control of
one’s actions, including
speech, are often present.
Associated features
Derealization is frequently present.
This is manifested by a
strange alteration in the perception
of one’s surroundings so that
a sense of the reality of the
external world is lost. A perceived
change in the size of shape of
objects in the external world is
common. People may be perceived as
dead or mechanical.
Other common associated features
include dizziness, depression,
obsessive ruminations, anxiety, fear
of going insane, and
disturbance in the subjective sense
of time. There is often the
feeling that recall is difficult or
slow.
EX-MEMBERS’ COPING STRATEGIES
Maintain a routine.
Make change slowly: physical,
emotional, nutritional,
geographical, etc.
Monitor health, including nutrition,
medical checkups. Avoid
drugs and alcohol.
Daily exercise reduces dissociation
(spaceyness, anxiety and
insomnia).
Avoid sensory overload. Avoid crowds
or large spaces without
boundaries (shopping malls, video
arcades, etc.).
Drive consciously without music.
Reality orientation
Establish time and place landmarks
such as calendars and
clocks.
Make lists of activities in advance.
Update lists daily or
weekly. Difficult tasks and large
projects should be kept on
separate lists.
Before going on errands, review list
of planned activities,
purchases and projects. Mark items
off as you complete them.
Keep updated on current news. News
shows (CNN, Headline News
talk radio) are helpful because they
repeat, especially if
you have memory/concentration
difficulties.
Reading
Try to read one complete news article
daily to increase
comprehension.
Develop reading “stamina” with the
aid of a timer.
Increasing reading periods
progressively.
Sleep interruptions
Leave TALK radio/ television, news
programs (not music) on
all night. (Preferably not Rush,
though.)
Don’t push youself. Dissociation is
an acquired habit, so it will
take time break.
Post-Cult After Effects
Margaret Thaler Singer, Ph.D.
After exiting a cult, an individual
may experience a period of
intense and often conflicting
emotions. She or he may feel relief to
be out of the group, but also may
feel grief over the loss of
positive elements in the cult, such
as friendships, a sense of
belonging or the feeling of personal
worth generated by the group’s
stated ideals or mission. The
emotional upheaval of the period is
often characterized by “post- cult
trauma syndrome”:
spontaneous crying
sense of loss
depression & suicidal thoughts
fear that not obeying the cult’s
wishes will result in God’s
wrath or loss of salvation
alienation from family, friends
sense of isolation, loneliness due to
being surrounded by
people who have no basis for
understanding cult life
fear of evil spirits taking over
one’s life outside the cult
scrupulosity, excessive rigidity
about rules of minor
importance
panic disproportionate to one’s
circumstances
fear of going insane
confusion about right and wrong
sexual conflicts
unwarranted guilt
The period of exiting from a cult is
usually a traumatic experience
and, like any great change in a
person’s life, involves passing
through stages of accommodation to
the change:
Disbelief/denial: “This can’t be
happening. It couldn’t have
been that bad.”
Anger/hostility: “How could they/I be
so wrong?” (hate
feelings)
Self-pity/depression: “Why me? I
can’t do this.”
Fear/bargaining: “I don’t know if I
can live without my group.
Maybe I can still associate with it
on a limited basis, if I
do what they want.”
Reassessment: “Maybe I was wrong
about the group’s being so
wonderful.”
Accommodation/acceptance: “I can move
beyond this experience
and choose new directions for my
life” or…
Reinvolvement: “I think I will rejoin
the group.”
Passing through these stages is
seldom a smooth progression. It is
fairly typical to bounce back and
forth between different stages.
Not everyone achieves the stage of
accommodation / acceptance. Some
return to cult life. But for those
who do not, the following may be
experienced for a period of several
months:
flashbacks to cult life
simplistic black-white thinking
sense of unreality
suggestibility, ie. automatic
obedience responses to
trigger-terms of the cult’s loaded
language or to innocent
suggestions
disassociation (spacing out)
feeling “out of it”
“Stockholm Syndrome”: knee-jerk
impulses to defend the cult
when it is criticized, even if the
cult hurt the person
difficulty concentrating
incapacity to make decisions
hostility reactions, either toward
anyone who criticizes the
cult or toward the cult itself
mental confusion
low self-esteem
dread of running into a current
cult-member by mistake
loss of a sense of how to carry out
simple tasks
dread of being cursed or condemned by
the cult
hang-overs of habitual cult behaviors
like chanting
difficulty managing time
trouble holding down a job
Most of these symptoms subside as the
victim mainstreams into
everyday routines of normal life. In
a small number of cases, the
symptoms continue.
* This information is a composite
list from the following sources:
“Coming Out of Cults”, by Margaret
Thaler Singer, Psychology
Today, Jan. 1979, P. 75; “Destructive
Cults, Mind Control and
Psychological Coercion”, Positive
Action Portland, Oregon, and
“Fact Sheet”, Cult Hot-Line and
Clinic, New York City.
Study Guides Navigation - Recovery
Coming Out of the Cults
Margaret Thaler Singer, Ph.D.
(Excerpted from “Coming Out of the
Cults,” Psychology
Today, January, 1979)
Most ex-cult members we have seen
struggle at one time or another
with some or all of the following
difficulties and problems. Not all
have all of these problems, nor do
most have them in severe and
extended form.
Depression. With their 24-hour regime
of ritual, work, worship, and
community, the cults provide members
with tasks and purpose. When
members leave, a sense of
meaninglessness often reappears. They must
also deal with family and personal
issues left unresolved at the
time of conversion.
But former members have a variety of
new losses to contend with.
They often speak of their regret for
the lost years and feel a loss
of innocence and self-esteem if they
come to believe that they were
used, or that they wrongly
surrendered their autonomy.
Loneliness. Leaving a cult also means
leaving many friends, a
brotherhood with common interests,
the intimacy of sharing a very
significant experience, and having to
look for new friends in an
uncomprehending or suspicious world.
Indecisiveness. Some groups prescribe
virtually every activity: what
and when to eat, wear, and do during
the day and night, showering,
defecating procedures, and sleep
positions. The loss of a way of
life in which everything is planned
often creates a “future void” in
which they must plan and execute all
their tomorrows on their own.
Certain individuals cannot put
together any organized plan for
taking care of themselves, whether
problems involve a job, school,
or social life. Some have to be urged
to buy alarm clocks and
notebooks in order to get up, get
going, and plan their days.
Slipping into Altered States.
Recruits are caught up in a round of
long, repetitive lectures couched in
hypnotic metaphors and exalted
ideas, hours of chanting while
half-awake, attention-focusing songs
and games, and meditating. Several
groups send their members to bed
wearing headsets that pipe sermons
into their ears as they sleep,
after hours of listening to tapes of
the leader’s exhortations while
awake. These are all practices that
tend to produce states of
altered consciousness, exaltation,
and suggestibility.
When they leave the cult, many
members find that a variety of
conditions—stress and conflict, a
depressive low, certain
significant words or ideas—can
trigger a return to the trancelike
state they knew in cult days. They
report that they fall into the
familiar, unshakable lethargy, and
seem to hear bits of exhortations
from cult speakers. These episodes of
“floating”—like the flashbacks
of drug users—are most frequent
immediately after leaving the group,
but can still occur weeks or months
later.
Blurring of Mental Acuity. Most cult
veterans report—and their
families confirm—subtle cognitive
inefficiencies and changes that
take some time to pass. Many former
cult members have to take simple
jobs until they regain former levels
of competence.
Fear of the Cult. Most of the groups
work hard to prevent
defections: some ex-members cite
warnings of heavenly damnation for
themselves, their ancestors, and
their children. Since many cult
veterans retain some residual belief
in the cult doctrines, this
alone can be a horrifying burden.
When members do leave, efforts to get
them back reportedly range
from moderate harassment to incidents
involving the use of force.
Many ex-members and their families
secure unlisted phone numbers;
some move away from known addresses;
some even take assumed names in
distant places.
Fear may be most acute for former
members who have left a spouse or
children behind in the cults that
recruited couples and families.
Any effort to make contact risks
breaking the link completely. Often
painful legal actions ensue over
child custody or conservatorship
between ex- and continuing adherents.
The Fishbowl Effect. A special
problem is the constant watchfulness
of family and friends, who are on the
alert for any signs that the
difficulties of real life will send
the person back. Mild
dissociation, deep preoccupations,
temporary altered states of
consciousness, and any positive talk
about cult days can cause alarm
in a former member’s family. Often
the ex-member senses it, but
neither side knows how to open up
discussion.
New acquaintances and old friends can
also trigger an ex-cult
member’s feelings that people are
staring, wondering why he/she
joined such a group.
The Agonies of Explaining. Why one
joined is difficult to tell
anyone who is unfamiliar with cults.
One has to describe the
subtleties and power of the
recruitment procedures and how one was
indoctrinated. Most difficult of all
is to try to explain why a
person is unable simply to walk away
from a cult, for that entails
being able to give a long and
sophisticated explanation of social
and psychological coercion,
influence, and control procedures.
Guilt. According to our informants,
significant parts of cult
activity are based on deception,
particularly fund-raising and
recruitment. The dishonesty is
rationalized as being for the greater
good of the cult or the person
recruited. As they take up their
personal consciences again, many
ex-members feel great remorse over
the lies they have told, and they
frequently worry over how to right
the wrongs they did.
Perplexities about Altruism. Many of
these people want to find ways
to put their altruism and energy back
to work without becoming a
pawn in another manipulative group.
They wonder how they can
properly select among the myriad
contending organizations—social,
religious, philanthropic,
service-oriented, psychological—and remain
their own boss.
Elite No More. “They get you to
believing that they alone know how
to save the world,” recalled one
member. “You think you are in the
vanguard of history . . . As the
chosen, you are above the law . . .
” Clearly one of the more poignant
comedowns of postgroup life is
the end of feeling a chosen person, a
member of an elite.
Issue:Vol. 1, No. 1
Title:From the Editor
Author:Patrick Ryan
WELCOME TO AFF NEWS
It is with great pleasure that we
launch AFF News, a new
publication aimed at serving the
growing population of former
cult members.
In the past AFF’s staff and
associates wrote or contributed to
five books and numerous articles
addressing the recovery needs
of former members. We have organized
two recovery conferences
and numerous workshops for former
cult members across the
United States.
AFF professionals have recently gone
to Japan where they have
helped educate people there about
cults, and several books
authored by AFF associates have been
translated into Japanese
and other languages.
Because of our expanding
international work, we now use the
name AFF (formerly the American
Family Foundation).
The AFF News advisory board includes
Rick Larsen (Australia)
and Dieter Rohman (Germany). Rick and
Dieter will contribute
their insights on and experience with
the unique cultural
recovery issues of our non-American
audience.
In future issues, in addition to
articles focusing on
recovery, we will profile the members
of our advisory board so
that you will get to know them.
Our goal is to keep you informed of
the special issues that
affect former members of cultic
groups, as well as tell you
about the services AFF provides for
ex-members, their
families, and concerned
professionals.
AFF News will be published six times
a year. It will be sent
free to current subscribers of the
Cult Observer, as well as to
thousands of former cult members.
AFF News will announce upcoming
lectures and programs on
cult-related topics. Tell us about
any events in your area, so
that we may keep our readers informed.
If you know former members or others
who may interested in AFF
News, please let us know so that we
may send them a
complimentary subscription, or give
them our address so they
can write us to get on the mailing
list. Please note that our
mailing list is kept confidential.
As a former ten-year member of a
cultic group, I am pleased to
serve as the editor of AFF News. I
welcome your suggestions.
Patrick Ryan
[ top ]
Individual Differences Affecting
Recovery
Each person’s experience with a cult
is different. Some may dabble
with a meditation technique but never
get drawn into taking
“advanced courses” or moving to the
ashram. Others may quickly give
up all they have, including college,
career, possessions, home, or
family, to do missionary work in a
foreign country or move into cult
lodgings.
After a cult involvement, some people
carry on with their lives
seemingly untouched; more typically,
others may encounter a variety
of emotional problems and troubling
psychological difficulties
ranging from inability to sleep,
restlessness, and lack of direction
to panic attacks, memory loss, and
depression. To varying degrees
they may feel guilty, ashamed,
enraged, lost, confused, betrayed,
paranoid, and in a sort of fog.
Assessing the Damage
Why are some people so damaged by
their cult experience while others
walk away seemingly unscathed? There
are predisposing personality
factors and levels of vulnerability
that may enhance a person’s
continued vulnerability and
susceptibility while in the group. All
these factors govern the impact of
the cult experience on the
individual and the potential for
subsequent damage. In assessing
this impact, three different stages
of the cult experience—before,
during, and after—need to be
examined.
Before Involvement
Vulnerability factors before
involvement include a person’s age,
prior history of emotional problems,
and certain personality
characteristics.
During Involvement
Length of time spent in the group
There is quite a difference in the
impact a cult will have on a
person if she or he is a member for
only a few weeks, as compared to
months or years. A related factor is
the amount of exposure to the
indoctrination process and the
various levels of control that exist
in the group.
Intensity and severity of the
thought-reform program
The intensity and severity of cults’
efforts at conversion and
control vary in different groups and
in the same group at different
times. Members who are in a
peripheral, “associate” status may have
very different experiences from those
who are full-time, inner-core
members.
Specific methods will also vary in
their effect. An intense training
workshop over a week or weekend that
includes sleep deprivation,
hypnosis, and self-exposure coupled
with a high degree of
supervision and lack of privacy is
likely to produce faster changes
in a participant than a group process
using more subtle and
long-term methods of change.
Poor or inadequate medical treatments
A former cult member’s physical
condition and attitude toward
physical health may greatly impact
postcult adjustments.
Loss of outside support
The availability of a network of
family and friends and the amount
of outside support certainly will
bear on a person’s reintegration
after a cult involvement.
Skewed or nonexistent contact with
family and former friends tends
to increase members’ isolation and
susceptibility to the cult’s
worldview. The reestablishment of
those contacts is important to
help offset the loss and loneliness
the person will quite naturally
feel.
After involvement
Various factors can hasten healing
and lessen postcult difficulties
at this stage. Many are related to
the psycho-educational process.
Former cult members often spend years
after leaving a cult in
relative isolation, not talking about
or dealing with their cult
experiences. Shame and silence may
increase the harm done by the
group and can prevent healing.
Understanding the dynamics of cult
conversion is essential to
healing and making a solid transition
to an integrated postcult
life. ing session.
Engage in a professionally led exit
counselling session.
Educate yourself about cults and
thought-reform techniques.
Involve family members and old and
new friends in reviewing and
evaluating your cult experience.
See a mental health professional or a
pastoral counselor, preferably
someone who is familiar with or is
willing to be educated about
cults and common postcult problems.
Attend a support group for former
cult members.
The following sets of questions have
proven helpful to former cult
members trying to make sense of their
experience.
Reviewing your recruitment
1. What was going on in your life at
the time you joined the group
or met the person who became your
abusive partner?
2. How and where were you approached?
3. What was your initial reaction to
or feeling about the leader or
group?
4. What first interested you in the
group or leader?
5. How were you misled during
recruitment?
6. What did the group or leader
promise you? Did you ever get it?
7. What didn’t they tell you that
might have influenced you not to
join had you known?
8. Why did the group or leader want
you?
Understanding the psychological
manipulation used in your group
1. Which controlling techniques were
used by your group or leader:
chanting, meditation, sleep
deprivation, isolation, drugs, hypnosis,
criticism, fear. List each technique
and how it served the group’s
purpose.
2. What was the most effective? the
least effective?
3. What technique are you still using
that is hard to give up? Are
you able to see any effects on you
when you practice these?
4. What are the group’s beliefs and
values? How did they come to be
your beliefs and values?
Examining your doubts
1. What are your doubts about the
group or leader now?
2. Do you still believe the group or
leader has all or some of the
answers?
3. Are you still afraid to encounter
your leader or group members on
the street?
4. Do you ever think of going back?
What is going on in your mind
when this happens?
5. Do you believe your group or
leader has any supernatural or
spiritual power to harm you in any
way?
6. Do you believe you are cursed by
God for having left the group?
Excerpted from Captive Hearts,
Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery
from Cults and Abusive Relationships
by Madeleine Tobias and Janja
Lalich (Hunter House Publishers,
(800)266-5892). ©1994. Reprinted
with permission. Also available from
AFF’s Electronic Bookstore,
or ask for at your local bookstore.
AFF News Navigation
[ AFF News Home ] [ Up ] [
“Individual Differences Affecting
Recovery” ] [ “Post-Cult Problems: An
Exit Counselor’s
Perspective” ] [ “Pitfalls To
Recovery” ] [ Vol. 2, No. 2,
1986 ] [ “Crazy” Therapies: What are
They? Do They Work? ] [
We Weren’t Crazy; We Were Fooled,
Honor the Dead by Helping
the Living ] [ “We Own Her Now” ] [
“1997 AFF Annual Confrence
Report” ] [ Annual Report, Vol. 6,
No. 3 ] [ Problem Solving
An Approach for the Cult-Impacted
Family ] [ Recovering From a
Political Cult ] [ Why We Need To
Become Spiritual
Consumerschological Manipulation ]
[ top ]
Issue:Vol.1, No. 2
Title:From the Editor
Author:Patrick Ryan
From the Editor
From the Editor of AFF News
I have just returned from the Cult
Awareness Network (CAN) national
conference in White Plains, NY. I
remember my first CAN National
Conference in Kansas City (1986). I
was a hurting ten-year ex-member
feeling confused and isolated. The
experience, support, and strength
I gained at my first FOCUS group have
stayed with me. I finally had
found people who understood what had
happened to me, why it
happened, how it happened. I was
offered suggestions and support
that helped me grow beyond my group
experience. That was nine years
ago and much has changed in my life.
I am often asked why do you keep
working with former members.
Interacting with the ex-members at
this year’s conference reminds my
why. The support and experience that
ex-members share is invaluable.
Over the years the resources
available and the tools for recovery
have developed, expanded, and evolved.
In this issue of AFF News we begin
exploring some of the issues that
ex-members face in leaving a cult and
suggest some resources for
recovery.
AFF offers many resources to assist
the ex-member: AFF conferences,
Post-Cult Recovery Workshops, support
groups, books, videotapes, and
referrals to knowledgeable
professionals.
I also want to warmly welcome a new
member to our AFF News advisory
board, Pascal Zivi, who lives and
works in Japan.
Patrick Ryan
Post-Cult Problems: An Exit
Counselor’s Perspective
Classification of Ex-Members
There are several classifications of
ex-members, based on how they
left the cult. Former members usually
fit into one of the following:
1. Those who had interventions.
2. Those who left on their own, or
walkaways
3. Those who were expelled, or
castaways
Walkaways and castaways need the most
help in understanding their
recovery process. Former members who
were cast out of a cult are
especially vulnerable; often they
feel inadequate, guilty, and
angry. Most cults respond to any
criticism of the cult itself by
turning the criticism around on the
individual member. Whenever
something is wrong, it’s not the
leadership or the organization,
it’s the individual. Thus, when
someone is told to leave a cult,
that person carries a double load of
guilt and shame. Sometimes
walkaways also carry a sense of
inadequacy. Often they can think
through these feelings
intellectually, but emotionally they are very
difficult to handle.
Tools for Recovery
In my experience, the most helpful
tool for recovering ex-cult
members is learning what mind control
is and how it was used by
their specific cult. Understanding
that there are residual effects
from a mind control environment — and
that these effects are often
transitory in nature — helps diffuse
the anxiety. Clients,
especially walkaways and castaways,
feel relieved when they learn
that, given the situation, what they
are experiencing is normal and
that the effects will not last
forever.
Also integral to the recovery process
is developing an attitude that
there are some positives to be gained
from the cultic experience.
When former members learn about mind
control, they can use that
understanding to sort through their
cultic experience, to see how
they came to change their behavior
and beliefs as a result of mind
control. They can then assess what
out of that experience is good
and valid for them to hold onto.
When former members live in an area
where there is an active support
group meeting, it is often helpful
for them to participate. Support
group meetings provide a safe place
for ex-members to discuss
concerns with others who are dealing
with similar issues. In this
environment, no one will look at them
like they have two heads.
Common Issues in Post-Cult Recovery
Some of the recovery issues that keep
recurring in my work with
ex-cult members are:
1. Sense of purposelessness, of being
disconnected. They left a
group that had a powerful purpose and
intense drive; they miss the
peak experiences produced from the
intensity and the group
dynamics.
2. Depression.
3. Grieving for other group members,
for a sense of loss in their
life.
4. Guilt. Former members will feel
guilt for having gotten
involved in the first place, for the
people they recruited into
the group, and for the things they
did while in the group.
5. Anger. This will be felt toward
the group and/or the leaders.
At times this anger is misdirected
toward themselves.
6. Alienation. They will feel
alienation from the group, often
from old friends (that is, those who
were friends prior to their
cult involvement), and sometimes from
family.
7. Isolation. To ex-cult members, no
one “out there” seems to
understand what they’re going
through, especially their families.
8. Distrust. This extends to group
situations, and often to
organized religion (if they were in a
religious cult) or
organizations in general (depending
on the type of cult they were
in). There is also a general distrust
of their own ability to
discern when or if they are being
manipulated again. This
dissipates after they learn more
about mind control and begin to
listen to their own inner voice
again.
9. Fear of going crazy. This is
especially common after “floating”
experiences (see point 18 below for
explanation of floating).
10. Fear that what the cult said
would happen to them if they left
actually might happen.
11. Tendency to think in terms of
black and white, as conditioned
by the cult. They need to practice
looking for the gray areas.
12. Spiritualizing everything. This
residual sometimes lasts for
quite a while. Former members need to
be encouraged to look for
logical reasons why things happen and
to deal with reality, to let
go of their magical thinking.
13. Inability to make decisions. This
characteristic reflects the
dependency that was fostered by the
cult.
14. Low self-esteem. This generally
comes from those experiences
common to most cults, where time and
again members are told that
they are worthless.
15. Embarrassment. This is an
expression of the inability to talk
about their experience, to explain
how or why they got involved or
what they had done during that time.
It is often manifested by an
intense feeling of being ill-at-ease
in both social and work
situations. Also, often there is a
feeling of being out of synch
with everyone else, of going through
culture shock, from having
lived in a closed environment and
having been deprived of
participating in everyday culture.
16. Employment and/or career
problems. Former members face the
dilemma of what to put on a resume to
cover the blank years of
cult membership.
17. Dissociation. This also has been
fostered by the cult. Either
active or passive, it is a period of
not being in touch with
reality or those around them, an
inability to communicate.
18. Floating. These are flashbacks
into the cult mind-set. It can
also take on the effect of an intense
emotional reaction that is
inappropriate to the particular
stimuli.
19. Nightmares. Some people also
experience hallucinations or
hearing voices. A small percentage of
former members need
hospitalization due to this type of
residual.
20. Family issues.
21. Dependency issues.
22. Sexuality issues.
23. Spiritual (or philosophical)
issues. Former members often face
difficult questions: Where can I go
to have my spiritual (or
belief) needs met? What do I believe
in now? What is there to
believe in, trust in?
24. Inability to concentrate,
short-term memory loss.
25. Re-emergence of pre-cult
emotional or psychological issues
26. Impatience with the recovery
process.
In my experience, there is no
difference in the aftereffects
experienced by those people who had
family interventions or those
who walked away or were expelled from
a cult. Most ex-cult members —
no matter the method of leaving the
cult — had some or all of these
residuals. The difference is that the
individuals who had
interventions are more prepared to
deal with them, and especially
those who went to a rehab facility.
It is important to note and to bring
to the attention of the ex-cult
member that each individual’s
recovery process is different and
there is no “How To Recover from a
Cultic Experience.” In fact, the
desire for a quick and easy recovery
may be in itself a residual
effect of the cult.
Excerpted from “Post-cult Problems:
An Exit Counselor’s
Perspective” by Carol Giambalvo, in
Recovery from Cults: Help for
Victims of Psychological and
Spiritual Abuse, edited by Michael D.
Langone (1993. W.W. Norton &
Company.) Reprinted with permission.
Also available from AFF Electronic
Bookstore, or ask for it at
your local bookstore.
[ top ]
AFF’s research indicates that
at least two million Americans are
members of cultic or other
psychologically abusive groups;
tens of thousands of people leave
such groups every year;
a majority of these persons
experience some level of psychological
distress after leaving their groups;
the distress is often directly
related to their abusive
experiences in the group; and
only a tiny percentage of former
group members seek help from
experts knowledgeable about cults and
psychological abuse,
primarily because they don’t know
these resources exist.
Through AFF’s Project Recovery, AFF
staff and associates put out
five books, dozens of articles, and
four videotapes. AFF also
conducted two recovery conferences
and five recovery workshops, and
continues to develop a variety of
resources.
Project Outreach seeks to make former
members aware of current and
future resources that might help or
interest them, their friends,
and their families.
Help AFF assist these former members
by increasing awareness of
AFF’s resources. We offer former cult
members a complimentary,
one-year subscription to AFF News
Briefs, while funds are available.
Please send us the names of any
former members that may be
interested in receiving AFF News
Briefs, or tell them to write us
for a free subscription.
[ top ]
Introducing reFOCUS
reFOCUS is a network of referral and
support for former members of
closed, high-demand groups,
relationships, or cults. We offer
referrals to other former members of
similar or the same groups, to
other former members in your local
area, to support groups, to
appropriate professionals, to
resources for recovery, to recovery
workshops, and to support
organizations. We also offer support over
the Internet through our World Wide
Web site:
http://www.refocus.org.
Our newsletter, the reFOCUS Forum, is
published quarterly (yearly
subscriptions are $10). In order to
set up a base of information and
referral, we ask subscribers to fill
out a questionnaire. We welcome
personal accounts and articles
submitted for our newsletter. You can
obtain a questionnaire and reach
reFOCUS at P.O. Box 2180, Flagler
Beach, FL 32136; Tel: (904) 439-7541;
e-mail: carol2180@aol.com.
[ top ]
Suggested Reading
Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims
of Psychological and Spiritual
Abuse Edited by Michael D. Langone,
Ph.D., this book includes a
diverse group of contributors from
the fields of psychotherapy,
nursing, exit counseling, pastoral
counseling, and the law, as well
as personal accounts by former cult
members.
Recovery from Cults examines the
history of the cult phenomenon, the
nature of thought reform and
psychological influence, the
psychological literature on post-cult
distress, why people leave
cults, exit counseling and
deprogramming, and how to facilitate
recovery.
Recovery from Cults provides
necessary background information and
practical guidelines that can help
former cult members effectively
manage the problems they encounter
when leaving cults.
Published by W.W. Norton & Company
This 432-page landmark book is a
must-read for ex-members, their
families, and helping professionals.
Order from AFF.
[ top ]
Send for
Cultic Studies Journal A semiannual,
multidisciplinary journal that
seeks to advance the understanding of
cultic processes.
Cult Observer Reviews media
investigations and reports on cultic
groups and psychological
manipulation.
After the Cult: Recovering Together A
25-minute videotape developed
by AFF’s Project Recovery. Ten
ex-cult members share their moving
and dramatic personal stories, tell
how they have moved on with
their lives, and suggest strategies
for facing the future
realistically.
AFF also has Information Packets on
more than 30 groups. Request
AFF’s complete catalog of books,
periodicals, and videos.
Issue:Vol. 2, No. 1
Title:From the Editor of AFF News
Author:Patrick Ryan
From the Editor of AFF News
In my work as a thought reform
consultant I am continually
confronted with the difficulty
families have in understanding their
loved one’s group involvement. I
often see families struggling to
understand a group, it’s appeal, why
we joined, and why we stayed.
In an attempt to help, families can
unwittingly make mistakes. This
is why it is valuable for families to
become educated about groups,
for our sake, and theirs. It must be
remembered that families are
victims of cults.
In this issue of AFF News, Dr. Paul
Martin of Wellspring Retreat and
Resource Center examines some of the
myths surrounding group
involvement and helpful strategies
families can use to assist in our
recovery. Dr. Martin also addresses
the concept of floating, the
postcult experiences of altered
states of consciousness that often
affect former members.
I am pleased to announce AFF’s new
workshop: How to Help a Loved One
Affected by a Cult. This workshop
will give families an opportunity
to learn how to more effectively
communicate and support current and
former members.
Patrick Ryan
[ top ]
Pitfalls To Recovery
Each person suffering from trauma or
injury usually has the capacity
to recover. In this chapter, I will
point out some pitfalls on the
road to recovery from the trauma of
cultic involvement, and then
provide some guidelines for speeding
up the recovery process…
[I want to state the myths
surrounding the cultic experience] …
because it is very important for
recovering …[former members]
…to recognize them. If one leaves a
cult and surrounds himself or
herself with some well-intended
people trying to help but believing
in one or more of these myths, the
recovery process may be delayed
or sidetracked.
The Six Myths About Cultism
Ex-cult members do not have
psychological problems. Their problems
are wholly spiritual.
Ex-cult members do have psychological
disorders. But these people
come from clearly “non-Christian”
cults.
Both Christians and non-Christian
cultic groups can produce
psychological problems, but the
people involved must have had
prior psychological problems that
would have surfaced regardless
of what group they joined.
While normal non-Christians may get
involved with cults,
born-again evangelical Christians
will not. Even if they did,
their involvement would not affect
them quite so negatively.
Christians can and do get involved in
these aberrational groups,
and they can get hurt emotionally,
but all they really need is
some good Bible teaching and a warm,
caring Christian fellowship.
Perhaps the best way for former cult
members to receive help is to
seek professional therapy with a
psychologist, psychiatrist, or
other mental health counselor.
As parents … [or as an ex-member] …
who has left a cult, it is
crucial that you do not subscribe to
these myths. If you or anyone
connected with [an ex-member] holds
these false beliefs and
communicates them, there will be a
double sense of victimization.
The first sense of victimization is
from the cult itself. The …
[ex-member] … feels hurt, betrayed,
confused, angry, violated,
anxious, and perhaps depressed as a
result of their cult experience.
The second sense of victimization
comes when friends, helpers, or
family perpetuate the myths about
cultism. These myths work
themselves out in everyday
conversation in such questions and
comments as:
I certainly could think of some
others who might join a cult,
but you were the last person I would
have expected.
Why go to counseling? You know you
were deceived in your
spiritual walk. What you need to do
is repent of your sins so
that the deceiver cannot tempt you…
…People who join these groups are
troubled or have come from
dysfunctional homes. I guess I was
wrong in assuming you
didn’t have those problems…